Letter To An Asshole
Dear Mr Pious Self Appointed Citizens Constable,
I understand that you thought my husband and I were up to no good yesterday when we were hanging around that mail box on Harbor Ave SW. So much so that you had to pull a U turn and park your SUV in a bus zone so you could come confront us.
Had you started out your one sided conversation with us on a better note and actually wanted to hear the truth and not what you made up in your head, we might have been a little more willing to let you know what we were doing. However, when you come up to us all smug and condescending like you saved the day and thwarted our "evil little plan to steal a big fucking mail box in broad daylight," threatening to call the cops and not even really taking into consideration that we weren't actually doing anything wrong, we didn't feel that us saying anything would make a difference.
Are you feeling all high and mighty now? Does it make you feel good to be an asshole? I mean, sure you could take what we were doing as a bit odd, but there are better ways to go about trying to find out what we were doing. When you come out all accusatory, don't be surprised when the reaction you get isn't the best.
I've never really thought about stealing a mailbox before, but now that you seem to think that's what I was doing, let me tell you a few things. First of all, I'm not interested in reading your love letters to George Bush, intercept your registration to the NRA or any of the other boring mail you send out. I could give a shit about what anyone sends to anyone as it's none of my business. I have a good job and I don't need to be running an "identity theft ring" on the side, not to mention I don't have the time or the energy for something like that. Second, if I was going to "steal a mailbox" I wouldn't do it in broad fucking daylight in a very high traffic area, nor would it do it right after the mail has been picked up by the post office. Where's the sense in that? Kind of defeats the purpose, wouldn't you say?
I know that none of this will make any difference to you or the way you live your life. You'll always be a self righteous asshole and you'll probably never really realize how unimportant you are in the whole scheme of things. I know that we weren't doing anything wrong, and really, that's all that matters. If you want to "save the world" I suggest taking a good look at yourself first.
Sincerely,
Erin
This One's For The Kids
Children freak me out. I am not kidding. I just don't know how to deal with children at all. I think part of it might have to do with the fact that I'm an only child and really haven't had all that much experience with kids. I was never big into babysitting, and if I did actually babysit anyone they were usually a bit older. Not babies or toddlers. Oh, most definitely not. I have cousins, but really didn't spend a lot of time with them when they were children so I didn't get much experience there.
We're going to Denver at the beginning of August where we will be meeting Shawn's brother's child for the first time. He recently turned two. In a way I'm thankful that he's not a little baby because I really don't know what to do with babies. I don't feel comfortable holding them and really if they start to cry or something I just freak out inside. It all makes me kind of tense and anxious. But on the other hand I don't know what to do with toddlers either. I just have no idea how to handle them at all. I don't know what to say to them or what to do to entertain them. Or really how I should act around them. So for that reason I usually distance myself from them. I find that children are very blunt. They don't think like adults, obviously. They say whatever it is that they're thinking and haven't quite learned the art of being tactful. I think part of my problem with toddlers is that I don't want to piss them off or annoy them and have them say something or freak out. That is possibly my biggest fear with them, doing something wrong.
I believe however, if I were to have children of my own it would be different. That's because they would be mine and I'd know them and know how to deal with them. At the same time though that is one of the things that freaks me out about having children. Will I know what to do? Will I be good at it? Thankfully, that's not something that's on the table for Shawn and I at the moment so I really don't have to worry about it too much. But that's not to say it doesn't cross my mind on occasion, I think it's because I'm "at that age".
So yeah, meeting Shawn's nephew is going to be interesting. I don't know how I'm going to react to the whole situation and I hope however I do I don't piss anyone off. I don't act this way intentionally to hurt anyone's feelings or anything like that, it's just that I don't know how I should act. So when I don't know, I just kind of distance myself. Especially with kids, because it seems as though everyone thinks that girls especially should just know how to deal with kids. At least that's the impression that I get.
I Miss Cigarettes Every Single Day Of My Life
Congratulations
Shawn on being smoke free for exactly one year today. I can't believe that we actually managed to quit smoking a year ago. In a lot of ways it's gone by fast, but at the same time it feels like forever.
I remember that the first day was pretty easy, but by day three I was freaking out. It was kind of hard to break the habit of having a cigarette in the morning and one after eating and all that but we managed to do it. Of course starting out with the patch made it at least a bit more bearable, but after about a week of that I wanted to see if I could go without. Apparently it worked because I haven't touched a cigarette in a year. One year! I'm very impressed and pleased with the both of us.
Thank you Shawn for being my "patch" throughout all this. I know that if it weren't for you I wouldn't have been able to do it. You were there to support me through the tough times and knowing that you were going through the same thing as me made it easier to handle. Not to mention there was no way in hell I was going to let you "win" by caving and having a cigarette. Being stubborn and competitive has it's advantages sometimes!
Here's hoping we can continue being smoke free but even if we can't I know that we can do it again. However, truth be told, the smell of cigarette smoke just doesn't appeal to me anymore. I like how much better I can breathe, taste and smell these days. I like how I don't have to always be stopping for a cigarette. I like how I don't have to spend upwards of $5.00 per day on a pack of cigarettes. I'm happy with my decision and that's what it was, MY decision. People always felt the need to tell me I should quit, but of course I wasn't going to listen. I knew that when the time was right I'd quit, and I think I found it.
Congrats again Shawn. I'm proud of you!
Now, on to year two!
