This One's For The Kids
Children freak me out. I am not kidding. I just don't know how to deal with children at all. I think part of it might have to do with the fact that I'm an only child and really haven't had all that much experience with kids. I was never big into babysitting, and if I did actually babysit anyone they were usually a bit older. Not babies or toddlers. Oh, most definitely not. I have cousins, but really didn't spend a lot of time with them when they were children so I didn't get much experience there.We're going to Denver at the beginning of August where we will be meeting Shawn's brother's child for the first time. He recently turned two. In a way I'm thankful that he's not a little baby because I really don't know what to do with babies. I don't feel comfortable holding them and really if they start to cry or something I just freak out inside. It all makes me kind of tense and anxious. But on the other hand I don't know what to do with toddlers either. I just have no idea how to handle them at all. I don't know what to say to them or what to do to entertain them. Or really how I should act around them. So for that reason I usually distance myself from them. I find that children are very blunt. They don't think like adults, obviously. They say whatever it is that they're thinking and haven't quite learned the art of being tactful. I think part of my problem with toddlers is that I don't want to piss them off or annoy them and have them say something or freak out. That is possibly my biggest fear with them, doing something wrong.
I believe however, if I were to have children of my own it would be different. That's because they would be mine and I'd know them and know how to deal with them. At the same time though that is one of the things that freaks me out about having children. Will I know what to do? Will I be good at it? Thankfully, that's not something that's on the table for Shawn and I at the moment so I really don't have to worry about it too much. But that's not to say it doesn't cross my mind on occasion, I think it's because I'm "at that age".
So yeah, meeting Shawn's nephew is going to be interesting. I don't know how I'm going to react to the whole situation and I hope however I do I don't piss anyone off. I don't act this way intentionally to hurt anyone's feelings or anything like that, it's just that I don't know how I should act. So when I don't know, I just kind of distance myself. Especially with kids, because it seems as though everyone thinks that girls especially should just know how to deal with kids. At least that's the impression that I get.
3 Comments:
I feel the same way about little kids (although I am an eighth grade teacher and have very little problem dealing with teenagers, who also are known for being blunt). I realized that my fears were justified when I was recently at my cousin's PHd graduation. Her new stepson, who is about three or four, was sitting in front of me. He turned around and looked at me, so I smiled at him. He grumbled to himself (but so I could hear), "I hate it when people smile at me." It was kind of funny, so I laughed and repeated it to my mom. Then he turned back around and mumbled, "And now she's laughing at me." So apparently I am now this child's enemy because I smiled at him. It kind of hurt my feelings, but what can you do?
I feel the same way about little kids!! I really try to like them, but underneath it all, I'm super uncomfortable and I don't know what to do or how to act around them. I'd like to think that if *I* had kids, they would be different, but who knows? I could end up being "THAT" parent who has an idiot, bratty child that everyone hates. Man, the pressure. Anyway, I hope the meeting goes well!
erin, i used to feel the same way about other people's kids.. all antsy and unsure and what have you.. that was only 3 years ago for me. for whatever reason kids in general made me feel awkward, like i didn't know what to say or do with them.
i'm happy to say that you're right - that feeling is completely washed away when you have kids of your own. we just had our 2nd baby 3 weeks ago (another boy) and i can't imagine life without them.
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