Letter To An Asshole
Dear Mr Pious Self Appointed Citizens Constable,I understand that you thought my husband and I were up to no good yesterday when we were hanging around that mail box on Harbor Ave SW. So much so that you had to pull a U turn and park your SUV in a bus zone so you could come confront us.
Had you started out your one sided conversation with us on a better note and actually wanted to hear the truth and not what you made up in your head, we might have been a little more willing to let you know what we were doing. However, when you come up to us all smug and condescending like you saved the day and thwarted our "evil little plan to steal a big fucking mail box in broad daylight," threatening to call the cops and not even really taking into consideration that we weren't actually doing anything wrong, we didn't feel that us saying anything would make a difference.
Are you feeling all high and mighty now? Does it make you feel good to be an asshole? I mean, sure you could take what we were doing as a bit odd, but there are better ways to go about trying to find out what we were doing. When you come out all accusatory, don't be surprised when the reaction you get isn't the best.
I've never really thought about stealing a mailbox before, but now that you seem to think that's what I was doing, let me tell you a few things. First of all, I'm not interested in reading your love letters to George Bush, intercept your registration to the NRA or any of the other boring mail you send out. I could give a shit about what anyone sends to anyone as it's none of my business. I have a good job and I don't need to be running an "identity theft ring" on the side, not to mention I don't have the time or the energy for something like that. Second, if I was going to "steal a mailbox" I wouldn't do it in broad fucking daylight in a very high traffic area, nor would it do it right after the mail has been picked up by the post office. Where's the sense in that? Kind of defeats the purpose, wouldn't you say?
I know that none of this will make any difference to you or the way you live your life. You'll always be a self righteous asshole and you'll probably never really realize how unimportant you are in the whole scheme of things. I know that we weren't doing anything wrong, and really, that's all that matters. If you want to "save the world" I suggest taking a good look at yourself first.
Sincerely,
Erin
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