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It's Not Funny Like On Television

I've been thinking a lot about addiction lately. In a lot of ways I understand it. I think in my life I have been mildly addicted to a number of different things, but it's always been fairly easy for me to get over them. Currently my only addiction would have to be coffee, and maybe chocolate, but those are things I could give up if I wanted to relatively easily. Shawn seems to think I'm addicted to peanut butter because I eat it all the time, but like I told him, I can quit anytime I want, I just don't want to. :P

Seriously though, due to things happening in the lives of people around me lately, addiction has been one of the top things on my mind. Like I said, I understand it in a lot of ways, but at the same time there are things I just don't get about it. Like once things start going wrong because of your addiction, when your health is very clearly at risk, why is that sometimes not enough for people to realize what they're doing? I smoked cigarettes for a number of years, and seriously the first time I felt like my health was at risk because of it I would have quit. Hell, when I quit it was because the doctors thought my grandmother, who had never smoked a day in her life, had lung cancer. Turns out she didn't, but it was enough to wake me up and realize that what I was doing probably wasn't the best for my body. I know sometimes it takes a lot for people to get that "wake up call", but why does it often seem like when that time comes it's too late?

It makes me wonder why we don't treat our bodies and our lives better. I often wonder why people like to hide from their problems and cover them up with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, you name it. I suppose it's easier, but in the long run it always ends up causing more problems, both physically and mentally. Not to mention the shit it puts their families and loved ones through, both during the addiction and the recovery.

I know I have tendencies and I know that things run in my family, but I'll be damned if I let any of that ruin my life.

It all just makes me sad thinking about it.

posted by Erin - Tuesday, May 09, 2006